Story Time – Bringing things Full Circle

I started out my dance journey as a freestyle dancer. Someone who purely danced for that freeing feeling that music gives me. Growing up in a Jamaican dance culture, it was all about individuality and dancing with girls. That was probably my first introduction to choreography, because I had to match the rhythms of the hips of the girl I was dancing with. Thinking about it now, I didn’t even know I was doing that; it just seemed natural. 

Then after watching dance videos of Michael Jackson, MC Hammer, and my neighborhood Ghetto Boys Dance Crew I got hit with the dream of wanting to learn choreography.

I was a dancer that operated from a place of feel 100% of the time. I enjoy music so I didn’t even think about the rise and fall of an 8 count, slower rhythms as opposed to faster rhythms, the lyrical component of an artist, how a vocalist can change the feeling of music with words, tones, textures and so much more. 

I thought the only way to dance was to feel music and let your body naturally move to that feeling. Then I started taking classes in my early 20s and realized that there was a whole new world I knew nothing about. A world that has brought me to the full circle of my dance journey. 

I remember my first attempt at teaching choreography to my kids as a Hip Hop instructor at my 1st dance studio. I didn’t have no business teaching at that time because I barely knew anything about the relationship between music and choreography. I always go back and forth in my head trying to figure out what happened but I always ended up with this fact. I was not confident about my understanding of music or the ability to teach something I naturally feel, so I listened to voices that told me to simplify my movement to make it consumable for my kids. Which meant think of the most basic form of what I do as a dancer and teach that to my kids. However, I was skeptical of it and half way into the season I realized I made a mistake but could not make any changes because I didn’t know how to. Then I saw what that looked like on stage and for the first time in my life I couldn’t watch dance, especially something I created. I was embarrassed, disappointed, and upset at myself for not giving my students the authenticity of the knowledge as well as love I had for dance so that they could show that love on stage. 

That is when my journey of learning music truly began. I worked harder at listening to music.  I came earlier to the studio to take the beginner classes. So I took ballet classes with the adorable infant dancers, the jazz classes with the more seasoned dancers, the contemporary classes with the even more seasoned dancers and observed the tap classes because I didn’t own tap shoes. I needed to learn more about choreography so I did everything in my power get more familiar. I watched countless hours of instructional videos that broke down Hip Hop foundations and how they applied to music. Then I  incorporated them into my library of movement by countless hours of practice. 

Needless to say, the following year despite the disapproval of the few parents, and the concern of the studio owner with my new direction of instruction, I was able to appreciate what I created and taught my students. After that recital, I think they appreciated it too because it sure was a struggle for them to see that Hip Hop required just as much foundational work as ballet throughout the season. Though I would love for my kids killing the stage was the resolution to the climax of my dance journey, that was only the beginning. 

To make a long story shorter, I spent so many years learning how to teach choreography that I often forget to teach what made me want to dance in the first place. That is that undeniable feeling that music gives you that makes you want to move. Now I teach with absolute appreciation of music and how it inspires movement that I naturally enjoy. 

If dance is something you have a goal to learn recreationally, know that it is a journey and I believe in you. You do have to enjoy music and be brave enough to enjoy your own movement regardless of what others think. However, if your goal is to become a best dancer you can be, then a high level understanding of music as well as your natural connection to music is necessary to reach your goal. 

That has been my full circle realization. My career as an instructor reflects my journey with music. I taught dance in respects to my level of understanding of music for many years. Now I’m back to where I started, loving how music makes me move and appreciating why it makes me feel the way I do. Lastly, being in a position to share that on a weekly basis is the absolute best feeling in the world. 

Story Time – What I Would Say To The Younger Dancer in Me

I wish someone would have told me that learning choreography in a class setting was completely different from copying my best friend’s moves at the club or dancing at a wedding. As a confident freestyle dancer, who always wanted to break into the world of choreography, I struggled in my first few classes for almost 2 years with learning set pieces of choreography. However, struggling was never going to stop me from taking a dance class and if I focused really hard I could figure out this new way of learning dance.  

Why did I struggle though? In reflection, now as an instructor for 2 decades, I know exactly what made me feel lost and/or sometimes out of place when I should have felt right at home. I struggled for a few reasons. First and foremost, I didn’t know how to count music or that all music was even written in an organized way. I only knew how music made me feel and I danced through that measure. All trained dancers who grew up in a dance studio know this. 

I also didn’t know how to track movement throughout my body without looking like I was trying to analyze a calculus problem as an instructor is demonstrating choreography. As someone who freely moves to music, I would always move to a specific song or how music made me feel. With absolute confidence, I knew it accurately represented what the song or music was telling me to do with my body. I never tried to remember a series of movements unless it was a popular move. There are many other reasons why I struggled, but the main reason I was having a hard time was because I was unaware of all the tools a dancer that trained for most of their childhood has.

I could have stopped taking classes and be content with where I was as a dancer but my goal was to learn choreography in a dance class and be good at it. I am writing this blog to share something with you that I wish someone shared with me in my first experience with choreography. 

If you are looking to take your 1st dance class, there are some things you don’t know yet. What if I told you there was a language that helps you remember everything without trying to use your brain. What if I told you that how music makes you feel correlates to understanding the language of movement. What if I told you that the more you let go of memorizing moves the faster you learn choreography and the faster you learn how to dance. 

The only thing is that it takes practice to get better at learning anything new. And if your plan is to learn how to dance in a choreography setting then you have to find instructors that will guide you through this secret language that I found out is necessary for you to feel confident about learning dance. Most dancers that give on dance when they first start, give up for this very reason. We do our best to combine this language seamlessly into how we teach dance but if you somewhat knew these skills beforehand you would fall in love with dance over and over again. 

This is why we created Choreography Breakdown, a session that allows you to learn about a language that will fast track learning how to dance. We recognized why new dancers were struggling and developed a 4 week session to teach them exactly how to use the skill that no one really talks about in a normal dance class. Why, because it’s assumed that you already know this. 

We really want you to succeed and Choreography Breakdown is the one thing that I wish I had when I first walked into dance class to learn a routine to ‘Blame it on the Alcohol.’ So if you are reading this and you want to learn choreography without struggling with memorizing moves or you want to rid yourself of some of the unknowns about taking your first dance class consider our 4 week session as a gift from a younger dancer that wants to see you be the best dancer you can be.   

Story Time with Rishone – Emotional Intelligence: A percieved Loss that turned into a Grand Slam Victory of No whuppings

The 90’s were a different time, where parents and/or your guardian (in my case) would put the fear of God in you just by the mention of a whupping. Let me tell you this getting a whupping from my uncle was nothing pretty. No one in the house wanted that. Fortunately for me, I was a good kid with good grades who always followed the rules. So I didn’t have to worry about getting a whupping. However, here is a story where the possibility of getting a deserved whupping made me exercise my emotional intelligence for the first time.

Story Time…

If you didn’t already know this, I grew up for most of my ‘teenage mutant ninja turtle’ life in Lauderhill, Florida where I lived with my uncle and some of his neices/nephews. For the most of that time, I would always avoid any whuppings because I colored within the lines of the apartment rules. All the other kids in the house knew this and eagerly anticipated the day that they would witness me in a postion they often put themselves in. 

My uncle is an entrepreneur that travels back and forth to Montego Bay, Jamaica very often to tend to his multiple businesses on the Island. His number 1 rule was not to play any sports with bouncing balls in the house because it would inevitably break something pricey.

Everyone knew my favorite sport to watch in the house was tennis. This is a sport I am absolutely obsessed with. Andre Agassi was my favorite tennis player at the the time and during the early to mid 90’s, he would provide some of the most entertaining matches with his rival, Pete Sampras. They had some incredible matches of which Sampras got the best of him with his monstrosity of a serve but their part in my brush with belt came from the post excitement of watching their match on a Sunday evening. 

Well it was the 1995 US Open Grand Slam Finals, and Agassi had been playing some of his best tennis that year. I was 13 at that time and owned a few tennis balls from hanging out at the courts by the park. In the drama of any tennis match, I would have one in my hand doing tricks. Bouncing the balls off my bicep into the palm of my hand, throwing it of the pop corn ceiling and catching it and also lighty bouncing the tennis ball off the glass sliding doors to the patio. It was nothing crazy. It was my thing, so no one thought to much of it because it was a tennis ball and  we played with a tennis ball multiple times with our uncle home and he didn’t mind. However, this time he was away and was scheduled to come back the next day. 

To make an aleady longer story short, the match was drama filled and invigorating throughout. Agassi lost in 4 entertaining sets and the match ignited the passion within me. So I kept telling the other kids that, even though Agassi lost against Sampras, he would come back stronger the next time. Then I mentioned, “But did you see that rally in the last set. It was epic.” Then I would toss the ball up like a serve and catch it and do so more tricks. One of those times, one of the other kids who also had one of my tennis balls was trying to do the bicep trick and lost the ball under the couch. So the next time I threw my tennis ball up he smacked it out of the air and it bounced off the glass sliding door. Before it hit the glass coffee table, I reached over the table to catch it, lost my balance, and fell into the table breaking it instantly with the metal frame that it rested on.

Immediately I felt a tidal wave fear crash into my entire being. All I could hear was the assertiveness of uncle’s voice echoing in my ear. “NO PLAYING BASKETBALL, TENNIS, Fútbol (soccer), or FOOTBALL IN THE APT WHEN I’M NOT HERE!” And simultaneously I saw the ‘Oh shit’ faces on the other kids change to a devious smile and then a ‘you are finally going to get yours’ laugh of satisfaction because they knew what breaking the coffee table meant. Rishone was finally going to get a whupping. 

As I cleaned up my mess, that is all I could think about and the other kids made sure that I would never forget what was coming. About an hour after cleaning up the table, my uncle called from Jamaica to do a normal evening check in and give us the flight information for the next day.

Inside I was panicking because it was somewhat of a moderatey quick call and the oldest in the house took the call with the room door closed. I thought he would tell him immediately but there were other important things that kept him from telling him. You bet the other kids were listening at the door to hear if there were any reactions they could use to tease me or the rest of the night. However, he didn’t tell him at that point, and he knew that it would be even worst for my uncle to walk in and find out the table had been broken, and no one told him about it prior to him getting home.  

The kids were relentlessly teasing me that evening, and though I was scared of the consequences ahead, I made it seem like It wasn’t a big deal even though we all knew it was. 

I barely slept that night. I was consumed by the fear of getting that whupping for breaking a direct rule that resulted in exactly what it the rule was put in place to prevent. However, after thinking about it and working through all the scenarios in my head, I came up with a solution. As soon as my uncle walked in the apartment, I would greet him and then tell him that I have something to tell him. 

Again the other kids were ready to witness me get this Olympic first place ‘ass whupping and to be honest I was prepared for it. However, I also knew that my uncle valued honesty, accountability, and directness. Therefore as the tension built to it’s highest and my uncle finally turned the key to get in the apartment, he opened the door and dragged his carry-on on luggage in and closed the front door to the apartment. He then walked passed the kitchen where the kids ran and hugged him with smiles as wide as the 6 lane Florida Turnpike highway. All teeth with a muschievious smile in my direction. I waited till he got to the hallway that connected the dining room, living room and the bedrooms. I greeted him there before he headed to his bedroom, and then followed behind him. The other kids stared at me like they had won the US Open that night and was acting out my fall into the table quietly as my uncle turned his attention away from the living room on his way to his room. 

As he entered his room, I felt the tension from the other kids faces and eyes. So I entered the room and closed the door behind me. As he sat on the end of the bed and started removing his black dress shoes from his feet, I calm explained what happened like this. “I am not going even try to make up any excuses. I broke an important rule yesterday that resulted in me breaking the glass center table. Yes, I was playing with my tennis ball in the apartment and though the details of what happened aren’t important, what matters is that I broke the table because of it. I know that means I’m going to get a whuppin, and I absolutely deserve it. However, I know there is an alternate punishment for my actions that I know the other kids would be fine with and you would also appreciate. I know none of them like to do the dishes after dinner and though I normally make dinner, I will also volunteer to do the dishes so you don’t have to bear the headache of choosing anyone for the next 2 weeks. Most importantly, I am prepared to get my whuppings – so it is up to you at this point. 

He paused for a about 3 minutes looking me dead in the face with his freshly dyed mustache and slightly squinted eyes. Yes, at the end of that 3 minutes, I was 33 years old. Meaning it was the longest 3 minutes of my life. However, it slowly changed to a face of admiration. Something I had never experienced before from him when a whuppin was at steak. He told me that he would think about it and asked me to go back to the living room so he could decompress from his flight. 
When I walked out of the room without any yelling or the sound of a belt aerodynamically whistling through the air before connecting with a hand or a back end part, everyone was amazed. They looked at me like I was a miracle and in some ways I felt like one. I had done something none of them had ever done before. I broke a rule and escaped the rath of the dreadful whupping. For the rest of the night they sat there quietly and amazed at what I had accomplished. 

Now why did I accomplish this? Looking back at that moment, I accomplished this because I showed emotional intelligence. This was the first time I was put in a position to use something that my uncle had been trying to teach all of us. I had witnessed all the other kids getting a whupping not for what they did but not understand the lesson he was desperately trying to teach them. So because I knew this from observing their whuppins, I approached it differently. Instead of waiting for him to find out from one of the other kids or worst on his own, I made sure he heard it from my mouth first with no blaming or inclusion of anyone but myself.  

So I identifed my part in it all, compartmentalized my fear of the punishment and was able to develop a clear solution that benefited everyone. I also empathized with how my uncle would feel about me breaking the rule, took full responsibility for my actions and accepted the punishment but not before suggesting a practical solution. 

My journey with emotional intelligence started way before that, but that was the first time I was able to exercise it. Everyone is on their own journey with emotional intelligence, and it takes a life time to become master all the components. However, that scenario forced me to think differently through my emotions. It taught me than even through fear, frustration, guilt, embarassment, and ridicule you can collect your thoughts, take responsibility for your part in what ever happened, communicate effectively, and move forward with a solution that everyone can appreciate.

That is what emotional Intelligence is – Identifying your emotions, and managing the emotions of those around you but also being able to communicate effectively to find solutions instead of focusing on the problem. Maybe you are in a situation right now where your emotions are pushing you to react rather than respond. Take some time to thoroughly think things through and find a solution that not only works for you but benefits everyone. Life is so much better when you respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively reacting. I certainly could have reacted like the other kids and let fear cloud my thoughts but I was able to think and respond intelligently. Now washing dishes for 3 weeks was not enjoyable at all but it was certainly worth the recognition of the first kid in the house to not get a whupping even though it was deserved. Till this day, I remember those faces after coming out of that room. That was a US Grand Slam Victory that sparked a new way of approaching my emotions.  

Story Time – There are still Diamonds to Mine

Do you remember that naive younger version of youserlf that saw your dreams as shiny diamonds in a field and all you had to do was some simple mining to own them? However, somewhere along the way you realized that in order to get those diamonds in your hands, you had to endure all the dissapointments, the let downs, the failures, the mistakes, the stress, and come to terms that the world doesn’t care about your shiny diamonds as much as you do. But you still have to work and push with the enthusiasm that you had from the beginning. Why? Because it means the world to you, it belongs to you, it makes you happy, and that’s what truly matters. 

I was reminded of who I was, about 2 weeks ago now, by my best friend Susie K.  You see in 2011, our friendship was fairly new, and she didn’t quite know me outside of dance. We were becoming closer as friends so in order to not seem like I fell off the side of the earth, I shared with her that I was going to go into my “focus mode” to get ready to audition for ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ Season 12. I told her that it was something I always dreamed of doing as a dancer, and in order to achieve it, I had to shut everything/everyone out and go after it with full committment. That meant not being accessible at times and only engaging in little to no communication with anyone, even family, so I can get in dance shape, work on my craft, and mentally prepare for the grind of it all. 

I thought that was normal course of action when anyone set out to accomplish anything they set their entire beings to. To me that was the level of discipline that was needed but to her it meant she was losing a friend. Regardless, I knew I needed to do what I needed to do. 

This realization of what I was sharing with her made her instantaneously sad. She immediately responded with “But…but we are still friends right? And you will text or call me.” I said, “Not until I accomplished my goal Susie.” A part of me felt bad, but I knew I needed to do this for me. I didn’t really mean for my news to have that effect on her, so I had to explain that she wasn’t losing me as a friend, I was sharing that with her with because I wanted her to know why we may have a break in communication. 

Reflecting on that moment two weeks ago, she shared she had never met anyone so invested in accomplishing a goal that they had to close the world out so it threw her off. However, she reassured me that she understood why now which brought some relief to how I made her feel back then. 

So I proceeded to closing the world out, making a plan, and executing that plan. I auditioned and accomplished what I set out to do. I auditioned for SYTYCD in 2012, and it positively altered my perspective in a way that made me work even harder to achieve some of the goals you see today like Musicality Central.   
So as I am entering a new year, I want to be the friend to remind you that it is OK to set boundaries, maybe not closing out the world boundaries, but if that is what it takes to get your dreams started or accomplished then figure out a way to do it and be direct about it with everyone around you. 

I am entering new levels of business, there are new skills I need to master – Skills that I currently struggle with. Well, as of 2 Wednesdays ago, the person that was once hurt because I wanted to close out the world, including her, told me I need to get back to that version of myself in order to put my Plated Soul private chef business on the map, where she knows it belongs, and I agree with her. 

It’s been a little under 2 decades running through life pretending to be a lost puppy searching for a rightful home that would accept how I work internally. You see, we all have these tools, mental tools that allow us to accomplish anything we set our being to. Tools that you have access to but only when you dig deep or push yourself through the discomfort of your comfort zone do you ever see them. They are not just given to you, they are earned through obsessive trial and error work. Hard lessons that reveal who you are without filters. The raw honest truth about yourself that you cannot disguise or cover up. 

I call it the beautiful hard truth. That is were the real work begins, from ground zero. That’s the person I have somewhat strayed away from a bit and want to revisit in 2024.

So take this blog as a reminder from a friend of a friend of that naive version of yourself before the realities of the world made you shrink a little bit to get up and get some of that dirt out of your timberlands and put your work gloves back on. We have some more mining to do. 

Get focused and wake up every day ready to work with enthusiasm and consistency. Now that you know a little bit more about the world, you are more equipped for what may be out of your control and more prepared to battle though those tougher days when you don’t want to. Why? Because every day gets you closer to your diamond than you were yesterday, and that is what keeps you mining. That shiny diamond that has a specific color, a specific cut, clarity, carat weight, and certification that no one can take from you. 

Here’s to 2024 being the most bountiful year of our existence. It’s time for breakthroughs and achieving new levels of success in business, our personal relationships, our careers, our finances, and most of all the most valuable diamonds our overall the happiness within ourselves. 

Story Time – It’s OK to take Baby Steps

If you would have told me 7 years ago that I would be in the kitchen cooking about 5 days a week, I would have laughed in your face. I’ve never enjoyed cooking. Whenever I heard other people say that they love being in the kitchen or that it’s a form of meditation for them, it’s never resonated with me. It always felt like work. So you better believe that when I became good friends with Rishone, I took advantage of every opportunity to not have to cook for myself, but instead enjoy culinary creations from a professional chef. I was actually Rishone’s first meal prep client back in the day. He made my lunch and dinner for me 5 days a week, and I was in heaven! But all good things must to come to an end, so after maybe about two years of not having to cook at all, I quickly had to shift gears after Rishone pivoted his business model to small event catering. You might think, “Okay Susie, so this is when you started cooking for yourself then.” No! You’re crazy. This is when I started eating a WHOLE lot of Chipotle, Panera, and prepared Wegmans food. I did this for a lonnggg time. Too long. But after coming to terms that eating out that much was not good for my health nor my budget, I made the decision to start cooking for myself again. I will say, the good thing about having a professional chef as a best friend is that he was always willing to help me out with cooking tips and techniques. But when I would ask him for a recipe or how to cook something, you better believe he was telling me how HE would make it. Of course, he was giving me all the gems to make an incredible meal, but there were a lot of steps and attention to detail that I was NOT ready for. It all felt very overwhelming. I had to take baby steps…

So what did I do?

First off, I started by only committing to cooking a 1-2 days a week. If I tried quiting the take out meals cold turkey, I knew that wouldn’t be sustainable or realistic for where I was at at the time. I didn’t have the cooking skills needed to cook more than 2 days a week nor did I have the mental or emotional capacity to be in the kitchen that much. I kept it simple and hit the “easy button” when I could.

If I could buy green beans that were already cut and washed for me, you better believe that’s what I was going to grab at the store. Then those green beans were just seasoned and roasted in the oven. Easy peasy. Season and sear some chicken… Bada Bing, Bada Boom – Dinner is served. I cooked a lot of seared meat and roasted veggies.

Slowly, my cooking schedule turned into 3 days a week, then 4, and now 5. And although I still do a lot of simple seared meat/roasted veggies, I’ve slowly added in new things as my confidence has grown in the kitchen. My salmon with cream sauce? To die for. Chicken stir fry with a homemade sauce? Chefs kiss! But you can’t forget about that easy button! You better believe that sometimes I still use pre-made sauces for my stir fry when I don’t feel like making my own. And that’s okay, cause I’m still moving in the right direction as a cook. It’s all about the baby steps.

The reason I thought to share some of my cooking journey with you now is actually because of the beef stew I just made today. I’m not going to lie, my beef stew is bomb. (Recipe courtesy of Chef Rishone.) Normally I just grab the stew vegetables bag at Wegmans in order to make it a little easier on me with less to think about for the entire stew. I opened the bag of stew vegetables today and even though it wasn’t expired, the carrots were a little slimy. I took the bag back to Wegmans, planning on simply exchanging it for a new one. But unfortunately, they were out. I ended up buying all of the ingredients separately – the onions, carrots, celery, and potatoes. Of course, it was a little more work to cut and clean everything, but totally doable. The reason I think it was doable for me at this point in time is because I took those baby steps and used some “easy buttons” to get me to where I am today with my comfortability in the kitchen.

All this to say – It’s okay to take baby steps. As much as you may think you need to dive right in, head first, into a new endeavor, that may be the last thing you want to do, especially if you know the failing involved in the learning process will deter you.

Let’s say you want to become a runner, but you’ve never run a mile before. Start by walking a mile. Then try jogging/walking, on and off, for a mile. Then slowly work your way up to being able to jog that full mile. Or maybe you want to learn how to paint. Instead of starting with a blank canvas and a pallet full of paint, try hitting that easy button and buy a “paint by number” kit, just to get you painting and learning some of the brush stroke techniques. You’ve just got to start moving! And it’s okay if the path you take or the pace you move at looks a little different than what other people have chosen to do. Just take that first baby step, and if you need a little extra guidance or maybe even a couple shortcuts to help get you moving in the right direction, just do it. Create that momentum. Sooner than later, you’ll find yourself running 5 miles or painting your own beautiful landscape by freehand and looking back to see how far you’ve come. I know I’m certainly proud of how far I’ve come in the kitchen.

We would love to hear from you! What baby steps do you want to start taking towards one of your goals? Or do you have any “easy buttons” that you have found to help you get started in a new skill or activity? Share the wealth in the comments. 

Story Time – Action Creates More Clarity Than Inaction 

No matter how many lessons I’ve learned throughout my time on this earth, I am constantly reminded that taking action cures uncertainty and slowly creates clarity. I wouldn’t dare pretend to be some type of expert on this subject matter, but I’ve had too many learning opportunities not to share what happens when I take action instead of thinking so much that I never even take the first step. 

Planning or impulsively doing something you have never done before can be extremely scary. It’s like walking in the dark and waiting for your eyes to adjust, and you realize there is no light to show you the way. So you have to trust you have the light within you to find a way.

As much as I know this, I still have my own struggles when I’m faced with new territory or familiar scenarios I still have not resolved how to navigate. What I do know is that we hesitate, procrastinate, and 2nd guess our next steps when we are not sure what we are doing. 

Whenever we are faced with the unknown or something we have never done, we enter this fearful response of retraction instead of walking we make our own path. Some of us are even scared to make our own path or do something different from the norm. At this point in my life, I feel like all my life experiences or major decisions are becoming less familiar. So I am constantly in a phase of acting so I don’t freeze from overthinking.

I have been a dance teacher and a choreographer for 20 years now, and every class I teach or opportunity I get to create movement is new. My response to these opportunities determine whether or not I am successful or hesitant. For example, if a new song scares me a bit then I know I need to take action by just moving to it and then trust that I will figure it out. It’s the only place where skill and creativity makes sense. Then through sweat and work, I begin creating something that authentically represents me as the artist I aim to be.

As a chef, creating new dishes almost always puts me in uncharted territory. Whenever I get an idea, I have to take action in order to make a dish or pastry a reality. I literally have to go in the kitchen and let my skill, knowledge, and work bring my creation to life. If I don’t take action, then it doesn’t happen at all. Just like dance it teaches me to trust that I have the tools and courage to create something new. Even when I am in the dark.

Taking action is the most efficient way to erase the possibility of not knowing. It takes a lot of courage and most times you have to do it alone. For me, when I do take action, I allow myself to make mistakes, fail and sometimes I want to give up. However, I know from experience that those things are a part of the journey and the result of discovering new parts of yourself is much more rewarding. So therefore I welcome the dark.

The question is – why did I decide to share this with you? Over the past 5 years I have heard many people talk about their dreams as if they have given up on the possibility of achieving them. Some started their journey and then stopped abruptly. Some have experienced success and some just convinced themselves that they can’t do it. What I am saying is that I know that you can do anything you put your mind and full effort into. It is not going to be easy. Nothing worthwhile is easy. You will fall. You will make mistakes. You will definitely be embarrassed at some point along the way. However, after you get through those learning opportunities, there is a beautiful destination of self discovery and overcoming your fears that taste sweeter than living in the purgatory of inaction or ‘what ifs’. 

Taking action has taught me more about myself and life than anyone in this world. So I say this to you. Do not spend too much time talking about something you truly want in your life. Take action and trust that you land on your feet even if you fall a few times. Something more beautiful than what you know is on the other side. 

Story Time – How I became the dancer I am today

Everyone loves a good Before and After. It’s shiny and exciting cause it shows you what’s possible! It’s something that makes you stop and say, “Whoa! Is that her?! That’s incredible.” Seeing a transformation side by side like that can be very powerful.

Over the past few years we’ve shown a few different examples of my growth as a dancer by highlighting videos of me dancing from over 10 years ago all the way through examples from today. And you better believe there is a difference! We shared those old dance videos in conjunction with current dance videos so you can see that we all start somewhere and that growth is possible. But HOW? That’s something we haven’t specifically talked about in relation to my dance journey. How did I go from someone who was clearly passionate about dance but had little to no technique and looked out of control in her movement to the dancer I am today?

Before I can answer the “how” for you, I have to discuss the “why.” Why was my dancing so spazzy? Initially, yes it’s because I was never truly taught technique. But one day, I started taking classes from this guy named Rishone, and he started teaching me about groundedness and paying attention to my feet and how to create movement by pressing into the floor. But here was the problem – I was getting the education, but I WASN’T LISTENING. I thought I knew better. I was so stubborn! More specifically, I created a learning block for myself. The way that Rishone taught choreography back when I first met him was solely through “feel.” He didn’t use counts or really any measure of timing at all while he was teaching. He choreographed based on how he felt so when he taught it, the timing would change throughout the class, and that infuriated me. I was all about the counts and the timing. He was all about the feel. Because of that clash between us, I put up this barrier in my learning process that stopped me from being able to take in the choreography unless I knew what the timing was. And my dancing suffered for it. But again, I thought I knew better.

So what changed?

Nothing did. At least not for a long time. My mindset about the learning process stayed the same for several years, and so did my dancing – spazzy and lacking control.

It wasn’t until I let my guard down and opened myself up to the learning process and allowing myself to be comfortable with moving and learning choreography without necessarily knowing the timing first. That was hard! It was going against how I am wired. But once I stopped holding on so tightly to what I thought was the right way to learn, I was able to actually take in the information and technique I was being taught. And slowly but surely, I could start to see a difference in my quality of movement. There was more control and more finesse. I had more range of motion and dynamics instead of just one flat tone of movement. Because those things that Rishone tried to teach me back in the day – the groundedness, the use of my feet, pressing into the floor to generate the move ment – I was finally implementing them. 

That is why you can see a clear difference in a ” before and after ” in my dancing between 10 years ago to now. I had to get rid of the chip on my shoulder thinking I was better or smarter than the process. I had to open myself up to trying new things and new ways of looking at dance. I had to be okay with not being perfect. 

Now let’s put up a mirror. Have you been feeling stuck as a dancer?

Every week, we give you the “how.” We’re teaching you all the technique and skills you need to grow as a dancer. But right now, I want you to look in that mirror and ask yourself, what is your “why?” If we’re telling you how to get better, but you’re still feeling stuck, why are you not progressing? For me it was my stubbornness in the learning process and being afraid of not being perfect. But it may be something different for you… Maybe it’s an uncomfortability with looking at yourself in the mirror. Or maybe It’s a mindset you can’t get out of that’s telling you that your not a (hip hop) dancer. 

Whatever it is, if you have something that’s preventing you from being able to learn and implement the technique we give you in class, you’ve got to address what that is before you’ll be able to move forward and make any real progress on your own dance journey. Once you can figure out the why that’s been stopping you, that’s when the real work begins. And no, it’s not glamorous. It’s not the shiny “before and after.” But it’s the consistent work that’s required in order for you to be able to reach that “end goal.” And we’ll be here to guide you along that journey. But you’ve got to come open to the process ready to learn! When you can do that, you’ll be unstoppable.

Story Time – Once a Student, Always a Student

My heart was racing. Why was I so nervous? I’ve probably done this 1000 times before. But even still as I got ready to take class, I felt the nerves start to kick in.

Last week, I had the privilege of being a student and taking a “Heels and Feels” class with Salena, another local dance instructor. I LOVE being a student and the whole process of taking class. I love the challenge of syncing my body with the musicality of the movement and remembering what step comes next. And being able to perform the choreography with confidence by the end of the class is just the cherry on top for me.

As I was driving to the studio to take the class, I started to experience some anxious but excited feelings. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I’ve taken a class from someone other than Rishone or James. After I checked in at the front desk, I quickly shifted my focus. This was my time for me, no one else. Time for me to do what I love and access a part of myself I don’t always have the opportunity to do.

We stretched, and then all made our way to one end of the room to do “across the floor” work. This was when my body decided to really let me know I was nervous! I started to feel my heart race again and felt the tingling sensation of blood rushing through my body. Why was I so anxious to go across the floor?? Even though I’ve taken countless dance classes, going “across the floor” was not something I had much experience in. Because it felt new to me, I felt uncertainty – Was I going to be able to do it? Was I going to look good??

Immediately, I took a deep and intentional breath and told myself these key words – IT. DOESN’T. MATTER. It doesn’t matter if I look good right now. I’m learning. It’s ok if I make a mistake and stumble a little bit. No one else cares. These are literally all the same words and sentiments we say to our students every week. 

I share this story with you, because we want you to know that the things we tell you as instructors are the same things that we apply for ourselves when we’re in the student role. No, we’re not perfect, and we also have insecurities. But the way you work through that is to push through. Take the pressure off of yourself and allow yourself to look silly. And from experience, it feels incredible when you do, even liberating. 

Story Time – Above All, Choose You

I am an over-achiever to a fault. I am always looking to learn something new or seek out new experiences that open up my perspective beyond the existing limited one. Is that a bad thing? 

I don’t believe so, but if I invest a large percentage of my time into something that is not servicing the goals I have for my life, then I will always choose to leave that thing behind regardless of its pereceived benefits. 

The last year and 6 months I have been working as a Validation Engineer II with a sub contracting company that services pharmaceutical companies. Within about 8 months I got promoted to the position of Area Client Manager of WNY which is a equivalent to a regional manager. 

Now I won’t get into too much detail on why I decided to take on this career path once again, but I’ll tell you this, it provided financial gain that was needed at the time. However, I did not forsee the emotional toll I would endure dealing with a management team that decided to string me along for 6 months without the appropriate compensation for my new position. 

Now I see the value of money and I respect it. However, I value how I spend my time on this earth more than money. Therefore, my happiness, my family, and my businesses will always take priority over everything else. That is a contract I signed with myself when I left the pharmaceutical industry in 2014. 

Anyways, to make a long story short, I took the new position on September 29th 2022. Again, I needed time to learn the position and devise a strategy on how to be my most efficient self. It took about 3 to 4 months to figure that out along with balancing everything else in my life. During that time I realized my management team was dragging their feet on the salary transition that was supposed to happen in late January/ beginning of February. 

Keep in mind I had been working this position now for a few months with expectations and a lack of proper resources/tools to actually do my job effectively. Regardless of those , I still took care of my responsibilities in order to establish credibility in WNY. Of course not having the proper resources caused more stress to my life but I knew if I kept manufacturing results there would be no reason to question the salary compensation I was requesting. However, I began feeling more and more uneasy about not hearing anything about the salary transition. Therefore I requested meetings with my regional manager so he could clear things. After a few unsuccessful meetings, I final recieved an answer about the date I would recieve my salary transition. I was told March 15th woukd be the date everything would be taken care of. So I kept on doing what I was doing, expecting to hear good news on March 15. To my surprise, on March 15th my regional manager shared with me during our weekly check in meeting that they are dissolving my position. That would mean I would no longer be the Area Client Manager and I would be expected to travel out of state to service another client for a little over a full year. Immediately all the stress I had accumulated from this anticipation made me feel manipulated but also relieved. Why, because at least at this point I knew where I needed to put this new venture on my priority list. 
I was mislead and manipulated by my regional manager/management team with no prior communication or updates. Therefore, I knew what decision I needed to make. Having this postion in my career field opened up some old parts of me that I enjoyed but the stress of it affected my overall happiness, devoured my valuable time, and also took my focus away from growing my businesses. Therefore, I took a few days to devise a plan to resign. My last day in my position was April 10th 2023. 

I can literally feel myself slowly regaining that connection to my internal happiness. That’s how I know I made the right decision. 
It is still a struggle readjusting to my daily routine prior to taking on a whole career but I know in a couple months I will be fully engaged in all the things that service my life.

I am sharing this to tell you that it’s ok if it didn’t workout. You determine what makes your life whole. If you have done everything in your power to make it work but your efforts were not valued then you have to evaluate what you value and your goals in order to make the right decision. It’s ok to not allow that thing you made a choice to invest in destroy everything you worked so hard for. Whether it is a job, a hobby, a bad habbit, a mindset or someone that no longer services your goals for yourself, make the decision to let go and choose yoy. You will thank yourself for it. Don’t invest too much time into the ‘pros’ that you don’t see how much the ‘cons’ are affecting you and everything around you. I chose to get back to those things that ignite me. So my message is to always choose you. 

Story Time with Rishone – And… ACTION!

And… Action!! 

It’s hard for me to share this with the outside world because it’s still work in progress throughout my current being. I have not quite figured it out or mastered this approach yet but I know I’ve made so many achievements over the past 6 years because of it.

For most of my life I have been keenly observant. I would study life, family, people, social groups, and myself closely to understand why we made certain choices. To be more specific: like what inspired us to act or better yet, what inspires us to do anything given our unique or special circumstances. So basically most of who I am and what I wanted to become existed  inside my head. There is one specific moment that started a domino effect of where I am right now in this process.  

The First time I chose to act. 

I always remember this one moment in my young life that I believe defines who I was and has inspired me to be the person I am today. I was 10 years old, and I wanted to be on my under 14 soccer team. To be on the Cornwall College under 14 team is something that was always on my mind. My dad was a respected soccer player locally, and though he wasn’t really apart of my life, I still had the opportunity to watch him play on select Sundays. I can honestly say that is the only time in my life where I wanted to be like him.  It was a Saturday night after the Jerk Chicken man had already sold out and everyone headed back to their homes to go to bed in preparation for Church on Sunday. My best friends Keon and O’Neal went inside to go to bed, so I got my old football from the side of my house in Catherine Hall Montego Bay and went under the street light at the end of the block at Keon’s house. That night I connected with a different side of myself. 

To gain more control over the football I need to be better at keep ups. So that night, I set out to accomplish doing 100 keep ups without making the ball hit the road or the side walk. I would visualize myself running on to the field with number 10 on my jersey with Todd above it. I could literally smell the grass, feel how perfect my shin guards felt, and hear my sister yelling my name. I could even feel how connected I felt to my team because I was the star player. 

I started at about 10:30PM that night, and I was so invested in my goal that I didn’t leave under that street light till I got to 100. In fact, at times I got to 90, 95, 98, and even 99. Though I got close to my goal, I knew I needed to get to a 100. Of course, I could lie about it the next day, but to me that wasn’t necessary. It would feel better to actually do it

No matter how long it took, I knew I was going to get it done. I learned so much about myself that night. There was no one there to celebrate with me. No one there to support. No one there to tell me that I could do it or tell me to keep going when I failed many times. At about 3:30AM after multiple failed attempts, I surpassed 100 keep-up, and my heart exploded with joy. I was exhausted physically and mentally. I even did it a 2nd time to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. 

I was happy that I achieved my goal and knew the struggle it took to get there, but I had gained this level of focus that made me feel like I could achieve 10,000 keep-ups. That focus gave me the confidence and motivation that enabled me to make the U14 team that fall with the number 12 on my jersey as the 2nd Half right wing Striker. 

As I have mentioned, I was 10 maybe 11 years old when I achieved my goal of making the U14 team, but throughout my life I would remind myself, whenever I was spending too much time in my head, that I needed to take action. Throughout high school, college, and most of my adult hood, I am still on this journey to go from thought to action. Even with that realization as child, it is not until 2022 that I instantaneously took action before it settled as a repeat movie in my head. 

My Realization:

That moment has lead me to many achievements in my life but none more important than lately. I launched a 5 year dream in Dine & Dance. I was able to serve the community through Plated Soul in response to mass shooting at Tops Friendly Market. I was able to balance Musicality Central, Plated Soul and a promotion at work. I achieved physical goals and so many more. 

The bottom line is this. I realized being observant and a hard worker was not enough. When I wrote my goals down, I also needed to take action and be as fearless about pursuing them as possible.  Being that I love the affair I have with words and beautifully organizing them to create stories, I am now creating stories through action. That is basically what I wanted to share. All the ideas, poetry, short stories, motivational speeches, advice, and accountability speeches have been transferred to this outside world.  

How this might help You. 

I feel like I am always giving you these stories about never giving up on yourself or the things you want for your life. My goal is not to make you feel like you are not trying. My goal is to share how I never stopped trying. I learned to think, create, speak and take action toward my goals, and that has made the difference in my life today. I am continuously growing and learning so I am destined to learn more from failures than my successes.  

Make this year the year you take action. Write your goals down not only on paper but in your mind and heart. If you don’t have anyone to support you or encourage you to win, then let this blog serve as a written document that empowers you to keep going even when it seems impossible. I have worked passed impossible more times than I can remember by now and let me be frank in saying it was hard. However, the joy that fills your cells when you’ve achieved something you have worked hard for over a long period of time is absolutely priceless and unreplaceable. I truly want that for you.

Final Thought:

Life is an action movie in our heads but the beauty of living takes place when we take action in this reality.