Dance Tips – The one thing stopping you from having the best class

What is stopping you from getting the most out of your dance class experience? With a combined over 35 years of teaching experience, we’ve seen this scenario play out time and time again. It always boils down to one thing… Do you know what it is? 

Your attitude. Every time. Without fail. 

We can teach you all the dance technique and give you all the learning tools you need to learn. But if you decide that something is too hard or that you can’t do it, we guarantee that you won’t have the best experience and you may learn class feeling defeated.

But the beautiful thing is that if your attitude can keep you from having a great class, it can also make your class experience everything you ever wanted it to be. It’s up to you! 

So if you’re brand new, about to take your first class ever, here’s what you’ve gotta do…Know that you’re going to mess up. It’s going to feel uncomfortable cause you don’t know what you’re doing yet. But that’s ok! Focus on enjoying the learning process. 

If you’re an experienced dancer and the instructor teaches a faster routine or maybe movement you’ve never done before, DO NOT tell yourself you can’t do it. If that’s the narrative you’re giving yourself, that’s exactly what will happen. Instead remind yourself how far you’ve come and know that you’ve made it through challenges in dance class in the past, and you can do it again. 

If you’re having a rough day, maybe you messed up at work or got caught in traffic and are late to class, check all of that at the door. Those stressful and anxiety filled thoughts won’t serve you during class. So set it all aside, and shift your focus to whatever your intention may be for class. That may be as simple as having fun. But it’s something you’ve got to be intentional about. 

Even if you’re not having a rough day… Maybe it’s just a normal day, and you’re “going through the motions”… This can also derail your class experience. The energy you set for yourself at the beginning of the class will absolutely tell you how the class is going to go for you. So when you walk into the studio, shake off the “going through the motions” vibe and get excited to learn!

Whatever energy you bring to the studio will be infectious. If it’s negative, others will feel it. If it’s positive, others will feel it too. No, you’re not responsible for everyone else’s energy and class experience, but be aware that it’s all one big domino/snowball affect. The more positivity you can spread, the more others will pick up on it and then share that same energy back to you. So let the good vibes grow and flow!

Do you have any tips for how you get in the right mindset to prepare for class? Share in the comments for us all to learn and grow together. 

The Freedom to Feel

Dance allows us the freedom to experience one of our most undervalued senses. That is live and feel deeply. Dance never falls short to enhancing the overall human experience. I mean even if you believe you can’t dance and you are mostly a spectator, you still manage to experience the feeling of being free through the dancers you are watching. 

I experienced that feeling as young as 4 years old, and I knew from that moment I wanted more of it in my life. It just bring me so much joy. When I dance, I enter this deep level of inner and outer self that I am full aware but also full within myself simultaneously.

What is this feeling I am going on and on about? It’s that freeing feeling that music offers. It is one of those things in this world that is pure. It influences all 3 components of the human experience. If there were 3 circle diagrams that represented us physically, spiritually, and mentally then the section where they all intersect is where music/dance exist.

I once believed that learning choreography and improvising to music were two different ways to dance. I mean sure they both have their own set of rules, but the beauty is that you can get lost in both if you are truly dancing. Not learning or just doing, but syncing who you are to everything you are are doing in that moment. 

We really believe as instructors that when you dance, you become the best version of yourself. That is what we want you to experience every time you dance with us. We want you to feel free within your own body, spirt, and mind. Where you can leave all the stress out side the class room so you can meditate through movement.  Where you can lose yourself and find it as many times as you want to. 

To be honest this blog was not meant to give you any tips or share any stories that I’ve learned from. I wrote this blog to express how much I appreciate what dance has done for me throughout my entire life. It has shaped who I am when I am unsure, lost, and not myself. I can depend on dance to help me find who I am, grow from my own movement, provide the room for me to make mistakes, and then transport me to a place where my joy is a consistent flame that never goes out. 

That is my message for this blog. Listen to your favorite song and let go of all that you are worried about for 3 minutes and 42 seconds. Close your eyes and dance till your feet are light and your heart is happy. If you need to, take a dance class with your friend. Dance in your kitchen, living room or even the grocery store. It is the remedy for so many things in our lives that we have lost touch with. Free the person that has been waiting for you to be happy. 

Dance Tips – How to fast track your Growth as a Dancer

If you’ve ever felt stuck as a dancer, like you’ve been taking classes for a while, and you just don’t seem to be getting better or are not progressing as fast as you would like, this blog post is for you!

Here are 3 quick tips plus a bonus tip of simple things you can do to speed up your growth as a dancer!

1. Practice what you’ve learned

After you take a class, practice at home! The sooner the better, too. If you can go over the routine that same day, you’ll be more like to remember what you learned and further solidify it in your body. Don’t just mindlessly run through it either. Intentionally dance it and take note of any moves or sections you’re struggling with. Take time to break down those moves and and rep them over and over until it feels more comfortable. Practice makes progress!

2. Record yourself

Sometimes we feel like we’re KILLING IT in class, and the we see a video and feel slapped in the face with the reality of what we actually look like. (I know I’ve certainly been their many times.) But that’s ok! Video is a powerful tool that can help us learn and grow, as long as you don’t let yourself become deterred or frustrated by what you see. So whether you’re looking at a video that was taken during class or you record yourself outside of class (maybe when you’re practicing at home, wink wink), take some time to analyze what you like about your dancing and what you think you can do better. It’ll give you a different perspective that we don’t always have when dancing in real time.

Here are some things to think about when watching video of yourself dancing:

  • Am I grounded?
  • Where can I use my core more or add texture?
  • Am I dancing with intention through my arms and hands?
  • Am I connected to the performance/am I emoting?

Then go back to Tip # 1 and hone in on those specific parts when you’re practicing.

3. Take class with intention

It’s easy to mindlessly take class. Not to say that you’re not paying attention in the learning process. But quite often, dancers might not have an intention behind why they are taking class, aside from the fact that they think it’s fun and want to learn how to dance. But we want you to get specific. What do YOU want to get out of class on a specific daySet a goal for yourself. Maybe your goal is to not beat yourself up when you make a mistake, but instead stay focused. Or maybe your goal is to focus on connecting to the song and performing. Or maybe it’s to dance bigger through your core. You can determine your specific goal based on your self evaluation from Tip #2 – watching video of yourself dancing. When you take class with a more specific intention and you keep that in mind throughout class, you’re much more likely to get more out of the class, and more of what YOU specifically need. 

Bonus Tip – Don’t take yourself too seriously

Quite often, we get in our own way when it comes to progressing as a dancer. Remember that dance is FUN!! And a huge part of learning entails making mistakes. The quicker you accept the learning process, the quicker you’ll be able to move forward past any mistakes you’re making. 

I would love to hear from you! Do you have any other tips you’d like to share that have helped you in your growth as a dancer? Let us know in the comments!

Live Beyond Our Limits

Who is Roger Bannister? He is the first man in history to break the 4 minute mile barrier. A barrier that was said to be humanly impossible to achieve since they began clocking track athletes in the mile run. However, Mr. Bannister, a 25 year old determined man in 1954, set out to prove that he could do whatever he put his mind to despite what professionals and others believed. 

I imagine during his training and time leading up to his attempt that he received a lot of negativity and feelings of solitude, because no one knew how to help him or guide him in the way he truly needed. I would also imagine that people thought he was crazy to even attempt it. Despite all that, Roger Bannister broke the 4 mile mile barrier by running the mile in 3min 59.4s. 

With the perspective I have gained over my lifetime, I think he was extremely courageous to do something uncharted, against the grain. If I knew about Roger Bannister throughout my life and read his story, I would have learned that the limitations society, your family, the professional world, your circumstances, your school, your town, your city, your state, your country, your own mind and this world place on your unknown potential/natural abilities are not real. 

This blog is about limitations, the belief systems that hinder your ability to grow and succeed beyond even your wildest imagination. I used the real life story above about Roger Bannister, because I recently heard about it in my process of writing and I thought about it through the perspective of limitations and the lack of support when you set out to accomplish something uncommon. 

We do not pour enough belief into each other. Whenever we hear about someone attempting something that you yourself have never thought of or you yourself have never done before, most of us change the subject to something we do know or gravitate to programmed negative responses because we have been groomed to doubt our own potential. 

However, I am here to tell you that you are free to think, free to dream, and free to live beyond the limitations that have been weighing your wings down throughout your life. DO NOT SELL YOURSELF SHORT EVER! I know this sounds cliche and I admit, I once thought like this too, but you are capable of so many incredible, impossible things. Especially if you are blessed with people who pour belief in you on a daily basis. Most importantly you have to pour that belief in yourself. 

As a young kid from a small little ‘country’ town called Barrett Town Little River in the hills of Rosehall, Montego Bay Jamaica, I would have never thought that I would be where I am now. I just had these dreams and the drive I got from my mother as well as a grandmother that kept me humble.

I had dreams of graduating college with a BS in biology and engineering, dreams of becoming a cardiologist or working in the biotech field, dreams becoming a dancer, dreams of becoming a personal chef, dreams of becoming a basketball player, dreams of becoming a business owner, dreams of running a marathon, dreams of becoming a better communicator, dreams of becoming a writer, and dreams of teaching others how to believe in themselves. 

How am I doing with all these dreams? So better than I could ever imagine. I have achieved almost everything above with the exception of becoming a doctor, because I made the choice not to because that was someone else’s dream that I was trying to fit into my scope of abilities. However, I was the first to graduate from college with 2 degrees, the first to have a long standing career in the biotech field, the first to start an adult dance studio, the first to start his own personal chef business, the first to have my article published in a local magazine, the first to run a marathon, the first to become multiple business owner and the first to pour belief into everyone that is a part of my circle to let them know that they can accomplish the impossible with belief in self, time, training, and love. 

So if you have someone in your life that has recently shared something that sounds far-fetched, don’t disregard what they shared with you or change the subject. Take the time to process it and ask questions if you don’t understand. Respond with care and encourage rather than judge. You may help them believe just a little more than they did before they shared their idea with you. 

I’ll leave you with this; Roger Bannister broke the 1 mile barrier in 1954, and almost 1700 track athletes have broken the 4 minute barrier since then. In fact, it took the next track athlete 46 days after Roger broke the mile barrier to break his record. Today the fastest mile was clocked at 3:43:13 in 1999 by Hicham El Guerrouj. That shatters the mile barrier by almost 17 seconds. Just think about that! If Roger Bannister didn’t believe in himself and his ability, then this barrier would still be a limitation that we measure our abilities against. 

So evaluate your life in the next year. What limitations have you been housing in your unlimited potential. Is it physical, is it mental, is it from your family, is it from your friends/peers, is it from your past relationships? It is time to take steps in a new direction so that those that follow you know that you were crazy enough to break through or even attempt it. Live your greatness now, because we don’t spend enough time living beyond our limits. 

Story Time with Rishone – My Journey with Hip Hop

I am a Foreigner to Hip Hop

I was not born into Hip Hop Culture. My journey with music started in Jamaica. Though I was exposed to Hip Hop at about 6 or 7 years old, I was still about Reggae/Dancehall and R&B. Then as I got older I started hearing dancehall artist collaborate with rap/hip hop (like Heavy D & Super Cat ‘Dem nuh worry we’) artist and it made me curious. From a foreigner’s perspective and television I honestly thought only ‘gangsters’ rap. So I had a serious level of ignorance when it came to rap music being a foreigner.

I came to the states at 12 years old and I still didn’t like rap music. I thought it was all about violence and cussing, so I stuck to my smooth rhythm & blues and dancehall like: Buju Banton, Garnet Silk, Beenie Man, Capelton, and Bounty Killa. Then I realized Rap and Dancehall were very similar in their journey. 

However at 14 years old my cousin Vinroy had a Hip Hop CD collection that blew my mind. He had early Jay-Z, early Nas, N.O.R.E, LLcoolj, Erik B & Rakim, Big Pun, Biggie, Method Man, Redman. WUTANG, OutKast. He would open up his big ass multi CD holder with the laminate 3 cd holder pages and listen to his CDs for hours. I thought he was crazy. I would look at him like…dude what are you listening to and what are you doing to your brain?? Then he said L-boogie’s new album got leaked. I was like what? Who would name themselves Boogie, like a booger? He said “Naahhh Lauryn Hill from the Fug…” Before he could finish I said “naaaahh she is a singer and she is apart of Refugees.” He responded by saying, “Naah listen, she raps and she’s nice.” He gave me his sweaty headphones and everything changed after that moment. 

At that time the LL/Cannibus battle was in full effect so the war on words, flows, metaphors, punchlines, delivery mechanisms etc made me dive even deeper because I was a fan of poetry and wordsmitting. That’s when my love for Hip Hop began. 

My ignorance became a reason I needed to take that journey of re-education. I realized that dancehall music influenced hip hop and vice versa. I also realized that dancehall movement also influenced hip hop dance. Not sure about the other way around but they both definitely play off each other given their unique differences. 

So coming from someone who is from a completely different country who thought rap was only ‘gangsta music’ for gangstas, I am completely fell in love with the expression of self and developing a voice that endured pain, the struggle of systematic oppression, and the reduction of people of color. It is our way of pouring pride within ourselves just like dancehall music.  

Hip Hop was not my first dance language but I fell in love with it because someone close to me shared his love for Hip Hop. Now I speak the language of the music because I understand it but I haven’t forgotten my roots. It just made me appreciate them separately as well as together.  

So I would say I was lucky and then intentional about learning about the history of the music as well as the movement. I would not want it any other way. I am still a dancehall/R&B/soul guy first but Hip Hop is also strong within the musical marination of my youth. Hence, why I’m so invested now. It’s a lifestyle once you truly understand it. So I employ you to confront your journey with Hip hop dance and culture in order to pay proper respect to its pioneers. Especially if you are entertained by the music and love to move to it. 

Story Time with Rishone – Adapt to grow or become a victim of your limited perspective

My uncle empowered me with 2 gifts that I employ today in all my endeavors as well as my personal life. I have always been an insightful observer but my uncle, being an entrepreneur since his early 20s, inspired me to intentionally think openly to find solutions and to understand the results of my choices as it pertains to everyone around me.  

I was an overly stubborn kid before I hit my teenage years. Impulsively I have some of those qualities now as an adult, but my uncle helped me to evaluate my mindset/emotions to make rational decisions that were not ego based. To elaborate, I had aspirations of being spoiled but could not afford it.

If you had not gathered this by now, I lived with my uncle and few of his kids/relatives for most of my teenage years. I left Jamaica at the age of 12 to live with him in Lauderhill, Florida. I would say it was during this time of my life where I learned the majority of the life lessons I live by today. 

The Sliding Scale Budget

To share a quick story, there are 4 quarters in a in the Florida school year, and our back to school shopping had a sliding scale budget for each kid in the house bi-quarterly. The sliding scale affected our weekly allowance for the designated year and other clothing as we grew out of the ones we currently had. The older kids had a certain amount, the in-betweeners had a certain amount and the younger kids weren’t really old enough so their amount was managed solely by my uncle. 

The sliding scale worked like this. The more you spent on back to school shopping, the the lower your weekly allowance would be, which for me could be between $25 and $35 a week. So we had to be thrifty to a certain degree to look fly but also balance spending money.

The First Shopping Experience

Like normal my uncle did the initial shopping for the younger kids. The In-betweeners shopped with the older kids who provided guidance, because they understood how things worked financially.  

For the first go around, the older kids did most of my shopping, so I received a combination of 1 or 2 brand name shoes and clothing, but they keep the cost manageable by including mostly stylish off brands. Regardless we were all Phresh from head to toe with some sizable pocket money everyday. 

Well, given my affinity to brand names, I was not satisfied. I wanted better brand name shoes like Jordan’s, starter NBA Jackets, and south pole baggy jeans. Of course, this was the mid-90s so that was the style back then. I would hear my friends at school talk about their Jordan’s and others would tease you if you didn’t have brand name Jean’s or T-Shirts, so I decided that the next shopping experience I knew where I wanted to invest most of my shopping funds. 

The Second Shopping Experience

When I received my shopping money for clothes for the last 2 quarters of the year, I went straight to Foot Locker with my cousins to get some phresh “kicks”. I knew Jordan’s would break the bank so I settled for something close. However, even the pair of shoes I got doubled the amount that was normally spent on shoes. My thought process was that “hey, I’ll just save on other things like jeans and t-shirts.” Well those brand names were a little pricey too and I started to knock a few dollars off my weekly allowance as I bought more pieces of clothing. By the time I got done with shopping, what was normally 2 to 3 pairs of shoes only turned out to be 1 expensive pair of Nike shoes, and what should have have been 4 to 5 outfits turned out to be only 2 outfits for the end of the year. Here is where my pricey decisions hit me hard. 

In the process of shopping, my cousins kept asking me if I was sure on what I was doing as I picked up the pricey items. I assure them I knew what I was doing and they should focus on shopping for themselves. They would look at me and slightly shake their heads, but I paid them no attention as I knew how phresh I would be at school. 

My anticipation for the first day of school was at an all time high. I could not wait to impress my friends at the bus stop as I laid out my outfit on my bed that Sunday night. I thought in my head, “You bout to Kill em Rish.” 

The short term gratification

As I walked up to my bus stop, I saw my first crush Siveta the ballet dancer, and she smiled at me for the first time. I thought, “whelp this is going to be the best day ever.”  I got a few compliments about my outfit from a few kids, and the school staff that made me feel amazing, so I was beaming for more than half the day and most of the week. 

Living the Results of my pricey decision

However, I had less pocket money so my after school beef patty hang out time with my friends were no longer something I could participate in, because I didn’t have enough money after buying lunch so I had to head home right after school ended. Also it is hard to imagine, but third quarter I grew about 4 to 5 inches within a month and a half so my jeans were now becoming ‘quarter waters’ or ‘ankle biters’ or sock munchers… Yes, those were all the names that you were blessed with when that was happening. Also my feet grew a bit as well so those brand names shoes turned out to be a bit too tight to walk in for the remainder of the year. So no matter how phresh my kicks were, I was still getting called names and on top of that I couldn’t hang out with my friends after school, because I didn’t have the funds I normally had.

The Talk that changed how I think now

My Uncle sat me down one evening I got home early and expressed to him that my shoes were beginning to hurt with a frustrated look on my face. He started asking me questions like why do you think your shoes hurt and why can’t you stay after school with your friends any more. As I answered these questions, I started to realize that my choices did not match my specific situation, and I was letting the outside influence from my peers my overall lifestyle.

He explained to me why he chose this system and why it has worked for so long and how it helped in the grand scheme of balancing the rent, the bills, the gas for both cars that takes me to school and him to his businesses on a daily basis, the dinners we eat every night, the fun weekends at the Swop Shop circus and game area etc. At that point I felt extremely selfish, because all I thought about was me being brand name phresh and my feelings. And even though I had momentary success in impressing my friends, I was now unhappy with all the things I chose to buy for school, because I outgrew most of them and was still being made fun. So he had to buy me new shoes and new clothes the last 3 weeks of school which in some ways affected all of us in the house. 

It was the first time I looked at things from a wider perspective. I realized people are going to make fun of you regardless of who you are. You spend what you have in a balanced manner to support your specific needs, and you thank those who continue to work to make your life. As 12 year old new to this type of living and country, it created the building block for my thought process now as an adult. 

How this story applies to what we are experiencing now

This corona virus has most of us confined to either a mindset, lifestyle or emotion that we are not familiar with. Just like my peers in my story, the media as well as our government officials are all feeding us outside influence that may mislead us as we make decisions. We still have to consider the big picture instead of emotionally buying toilet paper out of fear.

We have to consider everything the world is experiencing and think deeper. Think in consideration of each other, ensuring that who we are and what we do, puts humanity in the best position to succeed or make it out of this thing stronger. So don’t get caught up in your own world that you can’t think openly and rationally. Yes, we want to protect our selves, but our individual decisions also affect the majority. So be responsible. Still live your life given the limitations, but do so with consideration of everyone. Give everyone their 6 feet, don’t promote gatherings of people outside of your bubble. Don’t let this new situation scramble your thoughts and debilitate you emotionally. Your body’s ability to fight infections successfully requires physical, emotional, and spiritual health. So keep eating healthy, start doing those things that made you happy in the past, find new things that make you happy now, continue exercising at home, and start a new routine of trying new things. Most importantly, read more or listen to those more educated on this matter, ask more questions of why or how so we can figure this out and make decisions that benefit all of us. That’s what we were meant to do as people especially when we have no control over the effects of this virus but limiting how it fast it goes through the population. 

So evaluate where you are now emotionally. Evaluate the decisions that may have been limiting according to how you thought before this new situation and make a plan to implement some small changes that will impact your life and your internal happiness for your future and the future of those around you. This is how I believe we should all treat this situation we are experiencing together. 

So like my uncle did for me, I hope my story inspires you to intentionally think openly to find solutions and to understand the results of your choices as it pertains to everyone around you.  

How Beyoncé inspired the confident woman I am today

(Tips to dance sexier at the bottom of this page!)

Let me set the tone for you. Growing up, my family always seemed to be behind the times when it came to technology. Heck, I remember writing papers on a typewriter in grade school cause we didn’t have a computer at home like all the other kids did. I also grew up in a fairly conservative household (I think it’s important that I say that I am very appreciative of the upbringing I had, cause it helped shape me into the woman I am today.)

So I was in the 8th grade, sitting in my family room at my parent’s house. We had just gotten access to TV channels that were not just the local news on 2, 4, or 7 or WB. With this new Cable TV Plan, I had just discovered a channel called MTV Hits. It was 100% devoted to playing music videos, non-stop, 24/7.

Like I said, I grew up in a pretty sheltered home and didn’t listen to most popular music. Somehow I managed to get my mom to buy me Nsync CDs, but that was it. So seeing all these music videos and hearing this music for the first time was a whole new world for me.

All the sudden, as song with bold trumpets and a strong beat came on. It was Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love.” When I tell you I couldn’t keep my eyes off the TV.. I was completely mesmerized. I had never seen a woman so confident. She completely owned every inch of her movement.

The first move that blew me away in that video: the booty bounce. You know the move I’m talking about. Holy crap, how was she doing that?! She had so much control, I could not take my eyes off of her. And then in the chorus when she sang “Your touch got me looking so crazy right now,” she did this move where she licked her thumb and brought it down through her chest while she rolled her body. It was at that moment that I decided I had to learn how to do that. I don’t remember if I tried doing the move then and there. I probably didn’t cause of self-conscious/ perfectionist issues, even though no one else was there. But from that day, recording the music videos on our DVR, and I started studying the movement.

Fast forward 15 year, I am the queen of body rolls and hair whips. It’s actually something I’m known for. And it has been over these past 15 years that I’ve learned what makes a dance move feel sexy and how to embrace my own sexy.

And I see so many women who want to feel as confident and sexy as Beyoncé looks in her music videos, but they’re not sure how. Maybe they have no one to teach you. Or maybe they feel like they look stupid when they try. Can you relate?

If yes, then girl, I’VE GOT YOU! I’ve put together a quick cheat sheet of “3 Easy Tips to start feeling Sexier When you Dance!” Don’t get me wrong, there’s much more to it than 3 quick tips, but this will definitely get you started. These are things you can start doing immediately to instantly feel sexier when you dance.

You ready to start embracing your sexy?

->Click here to get your free cheat sheet!<-

Story Time with Susie – The Twerk Class that had me Scared Poopless

We we’re driving from the LAX airport to our AirBnB, and Kellie, Starr, and Jamie had just grabbed their spot for the pop up class with Aliya Janell that they just saw come across their Instagram feed. “Susie, are you gunna do it?” they asked. I had a long pause. I had no intention of taking a class with Aliya Janell. Don’t get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against her; I’m actually mesmerized by her choreo. But the thought of taking her class scared the crap out of me. 

If you’re not familiar with Aliya Janell, she’s known for more of a swaggy, “racket heels” style of choreography, which most of her routines involve twerking to songs I would never normally listen to. Needless to say, the thought of taking a class with her made me very uncomfortable because of the explicit nature of the music as well as some of the movement.

But the ladies gave me a “Come on, you’ve got this!” And because I knew I went to LA with the intention of putting myself in environments that would challenge me and inspire growth, I signed up for the class before I could talk myself out of it. 

Two days later: It’s class day. At that point I was feeling mostly excitement, because I simply love dance and learning choreography. The one thing I was nervous about was the possibility of having to do splits, cause I’ve seen Aliya Janell incorporate splits and sometimes twerking while in the split into most of her routines. I currently do not have that flexibility, so I was a little concerned that it would impact my overall experience and enjoyment of the class.

We get to the studio with our excited and anxious energy, and we talked to a few other dancers who shared the same feelings. But as soon as Aliya Janell started talking, I knew this was going to be one of the best dance class experiences I’d ever had. She knew exactly how to speak to the entire room, while at the same time, making it feel like she was speaking directly to your soul. I was inspired and encouraged to let go, try something new, and embrace whatever the heck was about to happen over the next two hours. 

I learned the choreo, and I was right insofar as it definitely being out of my usual comfort zone. And to be honest, I looked a bit of a hot mess, especially during the twerking parts. But I did it, and that’s literally all that mattered to me.

I share all of this with you, cause I know that we’ve all been there, whether with dance or another potential passion. We see something that excites us and lights us up on the inside, but we shut down the possibility of even trying it because we’re scared; Scared we’re gunna suck, look dumb, fall down, and over all “fail.”

But I’m here to tell you to follow your fears, which was a concept I first heard of from the incredibly intelligent Marie Forleo. Of course, I’m not talking about the fears that keep you alive, such as a fear of jumping off a cliff with no protective gear. Those fears are important; hold onto those with dear life.

I’m talking about those times where you see someone killing it in karaoke, and you can’t help but light up and become emotionally invested when you watch. You can feel that small voice within you, telling you to go up and sing your heart out. But here comes along that pesky fear yelling at you that “you suck” or that “no one is going to want to listen to you.”

It’s ok to recognize that you’re afraid. I want you to follow that fear. Cause I can almost guarantee you that whatever your’re afraid of has no real impact in the grand scheme of it. It’s one of those things where you look back ten year’s later and think to yourself, “Man, I really wish I would have just gotten on that karaoke stage… what’s the worst that could have happened?” All that does is leave you with a bunch of ‘what if’s…”

That doesn’t need to be your story. You do not need to look back and think “What if I would have just taken a chance and tried that paint class? I wonder where I’d be.” Or “Ugh, I wish I would have started going to the gym when I was younger.” If you have something that you’re excited about trying but afraid to even dip your toes in, I encourage you to GO FOR IT! What is the worse that can happen?

Story Time with Rishone – Live at your own Pace

The 3rd grade Spelling Test that reinforced this life concept.

I was 7 years old in the 3rd grade at Barracks Road Primary School. It was spelling test day, which is usually a Friday, so I sat down in the front row of the right side of the room, like I always do, in my Khaki colored uniform, epaulets, on my shirt, and my polished black shoes slightly nervous but ready to take this end of the week test.

The test had two parts. The first was 10 words with 2 bonus words that the teacher would say/pronounce out loud, and we would have to spell it out in cursive on our loose leaf paper.  The second half of the test was another 10 words that we had to match with the correct definition by drawing a line from the word to the definition.  

I had studied extremely hard the entire week, but I still knew it would be a challenge, because our teacher would always throw a few tricky words in the spelling portion and the matching portion of the test. So I remember my grandmother telling me to take my time and sound out the words while I studied on the red veranda facing the breadfruit tree down the dirt road hill in the yard.  

As quickly as the first part of the test was completed, one of the students completed the second half in less than 7 minutes. He was considered to be the prefect of my grade level – that is a student that averages perfect or almost perfect grades on every test and is awarded that position by the teachers/staff of his grade level. When I saw that he completed his test so quickly, it made me incredibly nervous. It was like the room started to shrink and droplets of sweat started to form on the bridge of my nose. 

Six other students turn their test in after the prefect did just 3 minutes later. I watched them all individually walk from their seat to the teacher’s desk, hand her their test, and walk out the door. 

I was only on word 3 when that happened. I started to think wait, “Am I slow; why are they completing the test so quickly?” I consider myself a really great speller and word-smith. So I looked down at my paper and started to work even harder. I completed about 4 more matches quickly after that, because the words/definitions jumped out at me. Then the majority of the class started to get up and turn their test in. 

At this moment I had 2 more words to match with 25 minutes left in the class. There was only 3 of us left. Within another 6 minutes it was just me sitting in the corner trying to figure out the last 2 words. At that point, I had a nervous habit of biting into my number 2 pencils and with 15 minutes left, there were teeth Mark’s from just above the led of the pencil to the metal casing of the off red eraser top.  

I took deep breaths often, l wiped the sweat off of the bridge of my nose, I looked around the empty room a few times and looked out side the door where kids were already playing and getting ready for the evening dismissal. Then I looked at the teacher, who then directed me to pay attention to my test. So I looked down one more time in intense focus, and I figured out one of the 2 words which then gave me the answer to the final word by a process of elimination. I still had 5 minutes left so even though I was finished with the test, I would always review my answers. 

I went through all the words I spelled one after the other carefully to ensure I spelled them correctly. Doing that made me smile because spelling was my strong point, and I knew I got them all correct. Then I reviewed the matching section and recognize that one word was incorrect, and I corrected it by finding the right definition while recognizing that the definition belonged to another word. I was super happy that I caught it, because with 1 minute left, I walked up to the teacher confidently with my test confidently and turned it in. She joked and said, “Rishone, you do know there is a minute left. Are you sure you got them all right?” I replied, “Yes, Miss Smith!” with my big smile on my face. 

Monday afternoon came after the weekend, and the teacher started to hand back the graded spelling/definition test. To my surprise she announces that I had the highest score on the test beating out the prefect who misspelled 1 of the bonus words. Basically I got a 120/100. I was floored with excitement and the kids looked at me with amazement because normally the person who was left behind struggling would get the worst grade on the test. 

At that moment, I felt a moment of confidence in myself. There were so many times during the test while others were turning in their test that I could have made errors, because I was questioning how they finished so quickly, and I was struggling through the definitions. I mean the prefect was expected to finish quickly, but I was the last one in the room sweating and making sure I did my best, and because I focused on me, I was happy. 

Fast forward to 30 years later, I am still the same. I have my Biology degree and my Engineering degree, but I choose to be an entrepreneur that invests in my passions of the culinary arts and dance. There are so many of my peers that are practicing Physicians, Veterinarians, Scientists, Chiropractors, Physical Therapist, high powered Lawyers, Architects, Physician Assistant, Nurses, Accountants, and even manage to be parents of a few children. I mean, even my first girlfriend has 3 kids, one of which is a teenager. 

I could have been any of those things, but I learned when I was 7 that it’s perfectly fine to live life at my own pace, because I can be just as successful as someone else who finished before I did. What really matters is that I focus on what I’m doing. Everyone has the same life to live with varied amount of time to live it. We all learn differently and take tests differently, so don’t worry about this person or that person. Comparing yourself to your peers can distract you from achieving your own happiness or your definition of success. 

Life is a marathon

Fear either inspires or debilitates us

Fear dictates our actions and most of the time, our unconscious inaction/reaction. Fear could have crippled me from going after my goals, but instead it pushes me to face them head on. Some would say that is courageous, but for me every time I conquer a fear, it liberates and intensifies the belief in myself. 

The Back Story

I am a natural short distance runner. At least that’s what I told myself, because I was good at it. At the age of 11, I was of of the top 100 meter runner for my track team at Cornwall College in Montego Bay, Jamaica. I remember winning medals upon medals for being speedy. Then one track meet, I filled in for a long distance runner due to some absences and an injury.

I ran the 4×4 relay for the first time in my life, and with only 100 meters to go, the same 100 meter I’ve ran a thousand times, my entire lower body went through muscle spasms that caused me to collapse to the track in the agony of pain. Normally I would finish my short distance races and then listen for the other runners to finish after me, but that day I watched the other runners zoom pass me as I tried to peel myself off the track to complete the race. Due to that horrific, embarrassing experience, I labeled myself as someone that would never be a long distance runner, and I believed that my entire life up until this past weekend.

Breaking My Own Label

I can boldly declare that I conquered this fear/label to redeem myself after 26 years by running the Buffalo Marathon on May 26th 2019. I did it as a celebration of my birthday and as proof that not even the labels I place on my self are true. It proved that I can do anything I train and/or prepare for. A marathon is quite to monster to stand up to, but I was brave. 

If you are not familiar with how long a marathon is, it is 26.2 miles. When I explained how long that was last Tuesday during an open circle discussing what fear each person wanted to overcome, Crystal Frye commented comparatively by saying, “26.2 miles is a long drive.” 

She is correct; It is a distance in which you cannot fake or pretend to run. So once I decided to do it, no matter how much feared played apart in my decision, I knew I had to take it seriously.   

The Projectors

When I shared that I wanted to run a Marathon, a few friends thought I was crazy. They gave me the look. The look that says you go ahead, I want no parts of that. Others that do run told me to run the half, because the full may be too much for a first timer. Which may have had some truth to it, but they had never ran a marathon before so they were speaking from a limited experience and were unintentionally projecting their fears on to what I wanted to accomplish. So I had to find other sources of inspiration. 

Building my Belief

I trained for eight months. A couple months included training for the Turkey Trot which is an 8K. Susie and I ran every now and then to train for it. We completed it at about a 10 minute pace. After we completed that race, we talked about running a Marathon and what it would be like to train for it. We went back and forth with the idea until we decided to go through with in December. We still didn’t buy the tickets till the beginning of February. Up until then, we were training but not as hard as we should. 

Stepping Up The Training

After we made the purchase, I switched gears. There was no more room to play with the idea, because I knew what was at steak. I started doing research, planning my miles per week, scheduling long runs, short runs, recovery runs, planning what food to eat, planning my active recovery off days, how I would treat my days I teach classes, daily calisthenics, daily stretching, what my rest schedule would be, scheduling weekly spin classes, yoga classes, additional stretch sessions, post run icing sessions, and all the things I needed to get my body ready for the stress 26.2 miles brings. 

Going Past My Belief Limitation 

Above all the training, I knew had to believe that I could run a Marathon. I spent months watching training videos from Marathon runners on YouTube, but if there is one thing I learned over my years as a adult is that if your limitation is a Marathon, then it becomes your mountain top, and you prepare with that mountain top in mind which, in turn, limits your potential. Therefore, I started researching Ultra Marathons. I was blown away that someone could run 100 miles in 36 hours. Now that takes grit and a whole new level of training. So I compared the training regiment of a Marathon runner and an ultra Marathon runner. I realized the way they spoke about limitations were different. Their discipline to train was different. The way they spoke about life was different. That created a major shift in my goal setting for training, and it made my belief in my self even stronger using the concepts of a Ultra Marathon Runner instead of a Marathon runner. 

The Week Before the Marathon 

Fast forward to the week before race day. I reached some amazing peaks during my training. However, due to so much activity, the last month of my training was not as much as I would like. I was sick for about 3 weeks, and then when I finally started to feel better, there was only 11 days left till the race. 

I was extremely nervous at this point, and my fear of getting injured or worse, collapsing, started to set in. So I did what I always do when I start to distract or overwhelm myself from achieving my goals. I began training again. Calisthenics during the mornings and running during the evenings after choreographing and/or cooking during the day. Most of all, it reminded of who I am and I started to regain the trust in all the work I put in the previous 4 months. Finally, I remembered that I ran 18 miles during the peak of my training. That was something I had never done before. So if anything, I knew that I could get through 18 miles with no issues.

The Failure that Could Have made me Not Run the Marathon

The Sunday before the race, I set out to run 20 miles. It started out as a cool day which fooled me. I decide to run between 1pm and 5pm. The temperature jumped from 70 degrees to almost 90 degrees during my run. At mile 7, I realized I had never felt this hot in my life, and as I got to mile 9, I knew I had to stop soon to be safe. I got to mile 10 and stopped running and walked about another 1/4 of mile to make sure it wasn’t due to a lack of training. Then I decided to call my friend Susie to come and get me. As much as I wanted to run 20 miles the week before the race, I knew staying alive was more important. 

The Last Week Before The Day Of

I rested from additional training that week but still did things that kept me sharp for the Marathon. On the evening before the Marathon I had a 1.5 hour ballroom lesson scheduled with two couples. After I completed the lesson, we got some additional things for the race and completed our final preparation for the race the next morning. Unfortunately, due to adrenaline and anticipation of the race, I did not fall asleep till 3:30am, and my alarm was set to wake me up at 4:45am. So I got 1 hour and 15 minutes of sleep. 

I woke up from my alarm on race day with pure adrenaline. I told myself that I got enough sleep, and I was ready to get through this race. We got ready and set out to downtown Buffalo to finish what we signed up for. 

Race Day And The First 13.1 Miles

The race started at exactly 6:30am. The first two miles are always the worst and on race day it was no different. My mind was running a million miles a minute, I was trying to catch my rhythm, I was monitoring my breathing, and listening close to my body. I started to feel like myself by mile 3. 

I ran the next 10.1 miles with ease but you quickly realized that the real race starts after the half marathon or 13.1 miles is completed. You hear the celebration of those completing the half marathon while you are re-directed to the adjacent street to start the completion of the full marathon.

The Noticeable Difference In The Second Half Of The Race

My experience was completely different for the final 13.1 miles. During the half Marathon, you were running with so many people side by side. After the half Marathon, it was you and a few others far ahead of you or behind you. The streets were now narrowed by orange cones, cars could now drive by, the sun was now up, it was warmer, more people were walking rather than running, and the support on the side of the routes were less and far in between. That’s when I realized that this was a different race, but because I trained for it, I had the mindset that nothing would stop me from completing the race. 

The Struggle

I kept my pace consistent until about mile 17. I noticed I started to slow down a bit, but I was convinced that I was still good. I ran 2 more miles to get to mile 19 when the incline in the roads changed, and my feet felt like they were lava. At that point, I decided to walk the inclines and run the flats. A plan that worked for the next 6 miles. 

The Calvary And Emotional Finish

To my surprise, Susie waited and joined me on mile 23.5 to help me finish the race. At that point I was overwhelmed with emotion, because I had been struggling with my feet for more than a few miles and was asking God for some divine inspiration. With her help, I walked a little faster, ran a little more and finally ran the last 0.6 miles of the race to complete my first Marathon ever. 

My Reflection on the Race as it Compares to Life

This experience has taught me so many valuable life lessons. The first lesson is that we can all do anything we set our mind to. No matter how far fetched it seems, there is always a way if you are willing to do the work. The second lesson is our mind and bodies are remarkable, resilient entities when you feed them the right nutrients and gradually train then past your existing limitations. The third lesson is that running a Marathon is similar to life. When you make a decision to do something that not many has done or may seem crazy, you have to be mentally tough to not give up. The support will not be as plenty, the roads will be narrower, others will give up, others will convince you to slow down, but the main thing to do is to remember the goal you set out to achieve, listen to inner warrior, and fight through all the negativity that may come from the outside or the inside to finish for you. Most importantly, if you are a friend, don’t wait for your friend to get to the finish line; Find them during the struggle and encourage them through your actions to complete what they set out to do. That’s what the Buffalo Marathon has taught me, and I have a medal now that proves that I can do anything including dispelling my own label that I once placed on my abilities.